Aging in place
No one wants to be boxed up and tucked away in a nursing home—and many of us even resist the idea of an assisted living facility. After all, since when is not feeling like you're 20 years old anymore a crime?
Most elderly people just want to stay put in the homes they're accustomed to, where when the lights are off, they know by feel where the light switch is.
I don't blame you. I want to keep going until the day I drop, too—and preferably in my very own, very familiar surroundings.
The idea of a nursing home or an assisted living facility also isn't a feasible option for everyone. It's pricey, and many people aren't able to fork over the amount of money required.
With the growing number of grayer heads in this country, change is bound to happen—because there's a tidal wave of us coming. And no one is expecting the government to come along and bail us out. There's already a growing movement afoot, with the buzz phrase "aging in place" to describe it, summarizing most people's common desire rather nicely.
There are also communities being set up with the same idea, designed to encourage those who are able to help themselves. These communities typically charge an annual membership fee that covers a range of services. It's designed to be somewhat like a collective. Some have outside, pre-screened providers who are on call for the community. Others are setting up swap-style services: You paint my kitchen wall and I'll drive you to your dental appointment. The only hitch is you have to relocate to one of these communities—and maybe you don't want to budge from where you are. That doesn't mean you have no options, though.
The main reason some of my patients begin to think about alternative arrangements is due to their decreased mobility. They're more challenged now in getting out to run their errands, and they dread having to depend on anyone for help.
That's understandable. No one wants to think of themselves as a burden, but I believe that sort of thinking only comes about when you're feeling boxed in. Not sure what to do. Feeling like you're running out of options.
When a patient comes to me and expresses these types of sentiments, I counsel them to work on a plan. Sitting down with pen and paper can provide some therapy—and get you started on the direction that's right for you.
First, I recommend taking an honest assessment of your current situation. Are you falling a lot? Forgetting things on the stove? It goes without saying that these are serious considerations, and maybe you will need to think about an arrangement in which you have someone to look out for you.
The second thing I'd recommend is getting out your yellow pages. Look up the Department of Aging for your area. Interview them on the types of services that they provide for seniors, such as transportation and any Meals on Wheels-style programs. That's what they're there for, so fish around. See if they can direct you to any other organizations that can offer advice.
And why not band together with others in your community who share like needs? This is where the power of a group can come into play. Join a senior center. It's a way to stay involved in the community, and have access to social programs and trips. While you're at it, you'll be able to trade ideas with others. And you can try to create your own, informal co-op without having to pack up and move.
Finally, getting out and being with other people is a vital piece of aging gracefully. Being involved in an activity of your own choosing—whether it's bingo, hiking, yoga or chess—will help you stay connected.
And make sure you find any excuse you can to enjoy a meal in the company of others. As the years pass, many people find it easy to shortchange themselves in the food department. They don't like to eat by themselves, or they don't see the point of going to all the trouble of cooking for just two people. What ends up happening is you'll feel weak and run-down, and wonder why you feel dizzy when you sit or stand up.
I recommend you sit down and make a plan now: For next week, next month and next year. Good things can only happen if you make them happen.
